I would like to make an order: I will have one pair of lean thighs, easy on the muscular development, a trim tummy and a supersized order of motivation, just to curb my appetite.
Outside of a plastic surgeon’s office, this order would be lunacy, however it doesn’t stop the fantasy. The fantasy that goes something like this: if only I had more willpower, then I would…(fill in the blank).
In truth, willpower does not stand much of a chance against cravings, or the call of bad habits, for an extended period of time, because it is only one part of the equation for change.
WILLPOWER DOES NOT EQUAL CHANGE
That is right. The belief that willpower will cure the world of chubby thighs and muffin tops, not to mention debt and fidelity issues, is a farce!
I beg your pardon?
You are hearing me correctly. This fallacy, that it is willpower that is your main barrier to change, resides with the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, somewhere between Never Never Land and an honest politician. (Okay, low blow. I am sure that there is a Never Never Land, but I just haven’t come across it).
Willpower is real, but it is not sustainable on it’s own, which makes it a lousy solution and definitely not ‘THE CURE’. I should clarify, the feeling of willpower is not sustainable and will short circuit.
Willpower is clear and intentional focus that is followed through with action. Because it requires consciousness and laser focus, it also requires a lot of mental, emotional, and, at times, physical, energy and often feels like you are moving against the grain.
This is why willpower is great for the initial drive, or sprint, that sets change into motion. Without a plan, though, you may find yourself back at square one, wondering how you lost your groove, yet again.
If you are serious about change and want to get the most mileage out of willpower, try these proven strategies:
- Make the decision once: I heard this suggestion as it pertained to moral decisions. Make the choice once not to steal at work, use gossip as a pass time or use white lies to sugar coat the truth. It made sense because if you make the decision once, you will not be in a moral dilemma every time an opportunity presents itself. This is true for all change. If you decide to exercise 5 days a week, you spend your energy figuring out when and how as opposed to if you will work out.
- Use reminders: One of the main reasons people drop a new positive habit is because they forget. It is easy to get caught up in the day to day and honestly forget to take action, until you look back and ask yourself how you went a whole week without exercising. This is where a vision board, daily schedules and electronic reminders are fantastic. Right now, I am a big fan of HabitForge, which will send daily reminders.
- Be clear on what you want and why: “I want to be around for my kids” or “I want a healthier lifestyle” don’t quite cut it when you are in the midst of a panic attack because you have gone two weeks without a smoke and have just had the most stressful day of your life. You need to be very clear on what you want for yourself, why and how important it is to you. You need to be so clear and regularly reminded of this, that when the initial buzz from your motivational sprint dies down, you are continually inspired and energized by the image of who you will be with this new habit.
- Have accountability: I have made a million contracts with myself that have found themselves in the garbage or ‘forgotten’ because I would talk myself out of it just as easily as I talked myself into it. As a coach, sometimes this is one of my main roles, to hold someone accountable to their highest capability. You can work with a friend as an accountability partner, use an online source such as HabitForge or Stickk, or hire a coach to get you through that initial phase of one to six months that is required for change to be effortless.
- Don’t expect to always feel good about the change in the moment: Let’s be honest, sometimes sticking to our goals feels like torture. The truth is, positive change doesn’t always have to be inspiring or exciting. There will come a time when it feels like the negatives far outweigh the positives of making change. If you are prepared for these feelings, you will not let them have a say in your decision to stick with the plan. Feelings are just feelings, and they will come and go. If you know the changes you are making are better for you than staying the same, then allow the misery or self-pity to come and go without giving them any power.
- Refill your emotional energy supplies: Change takes effort and a lot of initial energy. Although you are burning this additional energy for a worthy cause, you need to make sure you put back what you take. This does not mean zoning in front of the internet or TV with a bag of Doritoes! This means doing something that feeds your spirit, and if you don’t know what that is, this is a perfect time to explore that.
- Watch your thoughts! Nothing will drain the bank of willpower quicker than entertaining thoughts of breaking down. If you are taking a break from sugar, but allowing yourself to fantasize about double fudge brownies, willpower will not hang around for very long.
Change does not have to be a heavy emotional burden in your life that relies solely on the feeling of motivation. It can be fun, creative and engaging. Take the time to build a safety net that not only extends the feeling of motivation, but will help to catch you when willpower has seemingly abandoned you in your time of need.
So, until there is a magic pill to increase willpower and make change effortless, I encourage you to supersize your willpower through one or all of the above tips.
Hey, if you have a way to supersize your willpower that we haven’t talked about, I would love to hear what works for you in the comment section!
